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Facing denial, particularly when it recurs often, is not a great feeling. An editor is declining your work, giving a definite “Not interested.” Working in writing, I am well acquainted with setbacks. I started submitting story ideas 50 years back, upon completing my studies. From that point, I have had two novels turned down, along with book ideas and countless short stories. In the last score of years, focusing on op-eds, the refusals have multiplied. Regularly, I face a setback frequently—totaling more than 100 annually. In total, rejections throughout my life run into thousands. Today, I could claim a PhD in rejection.

So, is this a complaining rant? Far from it. Because, now, at seven decades plus three, I have accepted being turned down.

In What Way Have I Accomplished It?

Some context: Now, nearly everyone and their relatives has said no. I’ve never kept score my acceptance statistics—it would be quite demoralizing.

As an illustration: recently, a publication nixed 20 pieces one after another before accepting one. In 2016, at least 50 book publishers declined my memoir proposal before one gave the green light. Later on, 25 representatives declined a project. A particular editor even asked that I submit potential guest essays only once a month.

The Phases of Rejection

Starting out, every no stung. I felt attacked. It seemed like my creation was being turned down, but who I am.

No sooner a piece was turned down, I would go through the phases of denial:

• Initially, shock. How could this happen? How could they be overlook my talent?
• Next, denial. Certainly you’ve rejected the incorrect submission? It has to be an administrative error.
• Third, rejection of the rejection. What do they know? Who made you to decide on my labours? They’re foolish and their outlet stinks. I deny your no.
• After that, irritation at the rejecters, then anger at myself. Why do I do this to myself? Am I a glutton for punishment?
• Subsequently, bargaining (often accompanied by false hope). How can I convince you to see me as a exceptional creator?
• Then, sadness. I lack skill. Additionally, I’ll never be successful.

So it went over many years.

Notable Examples

Certainly, I was in good fellowship. Tales of creators whose work was initially declined are plentiful. Herman Melville’s Moby-Dick. Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. The writer of Dubliners. Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita. The author of Catch-22. Nearly each renowned author was originally turned down. If they could overcome rejection, then maybe I could, too. Michael Jordan was dropped from his youth squad. Most US presidents over the last 60 years had been defeated in campaigns. The filmmaker claims that his Rocky screenplay and attempt to appear were declined 1,500 times. He said rejection as someone blowing a bugle to rouse me and keep moving, not backing down,” he stated.

The Final Phase

Then, upon arriving at my senior age, I entered the final phase of rejection. Understanding. Now, I more clearly see the various causes why a publisher says no. Firstly, an editor may have recently run a comparable article, or have one underway, or simply be thinking about that idea for a different writer.

Or, unfortunately, my submission is of limited interest. Or maybe the editor feels I am not qualified or stature to succeed. Perhaps is no longer in the field for the wares I am peddling. Or didn’t focus and reviewed my piece too quickly to appreciate its value.

Go ahead call it an epiphany. Everything can be declined, and for whatever cause, and there is almost little you can do about it. Some reasons for denial are forever beyond your control.

Your Responsibility

Additional reasons are your fault. Admittedly, my pitches and submissions may sometimes be flawed. They may lack relevance and resonance, or the point I am attempting to convey is not compelling enough. Or I’m being too similar. Maybe something about my writing style, especially semicolons, was annoying.

The point is that, in spite of all my years of exertion and setbacks, I have achieved recognized. I’ve authored several titles—my first when I was in my fifties, the next, a personal story, at 65—and more than numerous essays. Those pieces have featured in magazines big and little, in local, national and global platforms. My debut commentary appeared decades ago—and I have now written to many places for 50 years.

However, no major hits, no book signings publicly, no spots on popular shows, no presentations, no honors, no big awards, no Nobel, and no medal. But I can more easily take no at 73, because my, small accomplishments have cushioned the jolts of my many rejections. I can choose to be philosophical about it all today.

Valuable Setbacks

Rejection can be helpful, but when you listen to what it’s indicating. If not, you will probably just keep taking rejection the wrong way. So what insights have I gained?

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